This is what I love about blogging. There are thousand of threads all over the place to laugh with, help out, give support when you are down. It is like a VF - Virtual Family.
It is funny - I found it very easy to trade when I didn't care and I had a small account. I took crazy risks and made money over a period of time. Suddenly, I had more money to trade with and I started thinking - I could really change my life for the better if I could only learn how to trade better. I tighten up. I tried to trade smarter, risking less. The results - I traded less and made less. Then I explored a couple of trading
career ideas as my day job started falling apart. I found myself watching/trading the market more and more. One of my great fears of trading full time was being in the basement with no human contact. Bingo - the Internet and the blogger/chat room community solves that.
One day, I sat down and thought do I love
truly the markets enough to leave my job? At that time a bunch of family/job/health stuff all happened at the same time. I went to a shrink to sort it all out. During a session - my shrink asked me - "if you don't try trading full time, are you going to be on your death bed thinking if I only....?" That was a great wake up call for me.
So I put a plan in action to get myself there with a few safety nets and a Black Swan back up plan. I finally got free of my former life and I find myself even tighter in my trading patterns. I have tried everything to ease up on myself - smaller positions, futures, many positions, one position, playing music, drinking lots of caffeine and so forth. Nothing has worked the way I want it to but I feel I am beginning to feel with time I will get out of the frozen zone.
A good friend said to me - if I did not make or lose any money for a year - would your world end? No, I said. He said make your goal to make $1 in the markets in one year and take the pressure off. A crazy idea but I see where he is coming from.
It is really a big mental challenge to mentally go from play money to make a living money.