Dow Futures: -216.92
Crude Futures: +189.32
Stocks: +110.44
Russell Futures: +3131.96
Swing trade: -1005.00
Dividend: +250.00
----------------------------
net: +2459.80
============================
This has been one f-ed up a couple of weeks. My mother who was sick for a long time died a week ago on Friday. I did not think she was going to make it to the New Year but it was a shock anyway. I am not real heart broken about it because her quality of life really sucked and she had no idea most of the time where she has and was on tons of pain meds. She is in a much better place now than living the hell she was.
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Both that event was my big screw up in the markets that gained me nearly $3200. Sometimes it is better to be lucky than to be good.
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With both parents now gone and my daughter totally indepe4ndent, I hope I can take time for myself. It has been 30 months of a lot of dealing with other peoples problems. Now I hope it is my time and a lot less stressful.
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It will be weird now not living with a phone next to my bed wondering what the next crisis will bring. I tried to be a good son and father but it took a lot out of me.
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Now is the time to worry about trading.
Showing posts with label fucking life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fucking life. Show all posts
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
You can't this shit up part 2 (updated) - 4/6/2011
The gods hate me. I have not been trading much this week at all with one crisis happening after another.
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First of all it is my birthday. Birthdays should be happy days but they seldom are for me. Today was no exception.
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First of all, the kitchen sink on off values gave out and we only had cold water. I could not fix it myself this weekend so the plumber was called. He showed up yesterday and did a great job but it really screwed up yesterday. Last night being frustrated with everything I surfed the web and went to a bad place.
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When I booted up this morning all hell broke loose. The PC went into some type of loop demanding I buy some Internet anti-virus software. I panicked and thought my PC had been totally hacked. I got totally stressed out if one of my PCs out of service. I tried fixing it with no luck. I said to myself - screw it - I make enough money. I will get it fixed correctly so I called webroot. While setting up the appointment to fix the PC remotely - the sales lady noticed my software needed to be reviewed and sold me an upgrade. I installed the upgrade and paid for the remote fix. Forget the markets - I need to work so I logged onto my work PC from home or tried too. The upgrade was blocking my access.
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You got to be kidding. I felt I had two useless PCs on my hands and wanted to cry. Someone then calls from work and with out figuring out the number - I yell into the phone "who is it and what the hell do you want?". Guess what? It was one of my VPs at work and stated his name and his question. I nearly died again. He asked quickly why I sounded stressed. I told him about the plumbing and my PC problems and the fact it was my birthday and this should be a happy day. He laughed and wished me a happy birthday and then informed me on was on speaker phone. Really wanted to die a third time today. I answered the questions and I said I was sorry for being in a bad mood.
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Back to trying to connect to work and then the door bell rings. Two Jehovah witnesses at the door and both are like in there 70's. Is this God telling me I am going to hell because I visited websites I should not have. Wasn't the virus and $130 it cost me to fix it enough. God had to send two old ladies to my door to ask me if I knew I was going to hell.
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I just wanted to die. Luckily I turned off the new firewall to get to my work PC. Then my luck got better when two meetings were cancelled and I had time to get work done. Then the virus cleaning guy said my PC was cleanable and he would have me back up and running in a couple of hours.
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So my anti-virus is now upgraded to the next level. My main stock trading PC is working. I know how to get into my work PC again. And I in a weird way got a lot of work done.
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Happy f-ing birthday to me. I do not think my heart will last to the next one if I have many more days like today.
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PS - hopefully Crack will find this funny.
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A happy ending to this story - I was able to have a great meal at a very good but quiet joint (bad weather) with my other half and spent the rest of the evening in her arms regaining my nerves.
-
First of all it is my birthday. Birthdays should be happy days but they seldom are for me. Today was no exception.
-
First of all, the kitchen sink on off values gave out and we only had cold water. I could not fix it myself this weekend so the plumber was called. He showed up yesterday and did a great job but it really screwed up yesterday. Last night being frustrated with everything I surfed the web and went to a bad place.
-
When I booted up this morning all hell broke loose. The PC went into some type of loop demanding I buy some Internet anti-virus software. I panicked and thought my PC had been totally hacked. I got totally stressed out if one of my PCs out of service. I tried fixing it with no luck. I said to myself - screw it - I make enough money. I will get it fixed correctly so I called webroot. While setting up the appointment to fix the PC remotely - the sales lady noticed my software needed to be reviewed and sold me an upgrade. I installed the upgrade and paid for the remote fix. Forget the markets - I need to work so I logged onto my work PC from home or tried too. The upgrade was blocking my access.
-
You got to be kidding. I felt I had two useless PCs on my hands and wanted to cry. Someone then calls from work and with out figuring out the number - I yell into the phone "who is it and what the hell do you want?". Guess what? It was one of my VPs at work and stated his name and his question. I nearly died again. He asked quickly why I sounded stressed. I told him about the plumbing and my PC problems and the fact it was my birthday and this should be a happy day. He laughed and wished me a happy birthday and then informed me on was on speaker phone. Really wanted to die a third time today. I answered the questions and I said I was sorry for being in a bad mood.
-
Back to trying to connect to work and then the door bell rings. Two Jehovah witnesses at the door and both are like in there 70's. Is this God telling me I am going to hell because I visited websites I should not have. Wasn't the virus and $130 it cost me to fix it enough. God had to send two old ladies to my door to ask me if I knew I was going to hell.
-
I just wanted to die. Luckily I turned off the new firewall to get to my work PC. Then my luck got better when two meetings were cancelled and I had time to get work done. Then the virus cleaning guy said my PC was cleanable and he would have me back up and running in a couple of hours.
-
So my anti-virus is now upgraded to the next level. My main stock trading PC is working. I know how to get into my work PC again. And I in a weird way got a lot of work done.
-
Happy f-ing birthday to me. I do not think my heart will last to the next one if I have many more days like today.
-
PS - hopefully Crack will find this funny.
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A happy ending to this story - I was able to have a great meal at a very good but quiet joint (bad weather) with my other half and spent the rest of the evening in her arms regaining my nerves.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Life
you know when you come to a point in life that everything your gut is telling you, is that you have to do IT, because IT is the only healthy thing to do, but IT just breaks your heart - it crushes it - it melts it - it kills it.
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I believe there is a God. What type of God - I do not know nor the name of him or her - but you get to this point, you must do it and then the only thing left to do is to trust.
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Sometimes the awful pain of life allows us to feel to understand the great joy of love.
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So goes life.
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I believe there is a God. What type of God - I do not know nor the name of him or her - but you get to this point, you must do it and then the only thing left to do is to trust.
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Sometimes the awful pain of life allows us to feel to understand the great joy of love.
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So goes life.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thank God for Vicodin -7/27/2010
I had surgery on my teeth today - inflection, bone grafe and other crap.
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No Big Mouth Stocks today.
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No Big Mouth Stocks today.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Confused and hurt 12/21/2009
My trading sucks right now big time. Since Thanksgiving I have tried to trade with bigger size and I do not know if that has anything to do with my over all trades. I have been trying to be less concerned about my losses and got back into a mode I was years ago where I had bigger gains and bigger loses but on whole I made money.
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I am a very emotional person. Recent events in my life have thrown a monkey wrench into how I viewed my overall life. I know events that happened or not happened 20 to 50 years ago have little meaning on today but it messes with who I am.
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I grew up in a super dysfunctional family. My dad has had a very successful career in business but nearly every waking hour I saw him while growing up - he was very drunk. He totaled 3 cars and somehow walked away from them. My mother has always been strange. She functions in society but it is clear she is mentally ill. I always thought she was strange but her illness did not matter until 10 to 15 years ago or so I thought. During the last few years, mainly the last 6 months, a lot of the stories I was told over the years on events that happened did not happened the way I thought. Her illness is much worse and started at a much younger age – even before I was born.
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Many of the stories where told to protect me in some way - others to put my father down - others to for my mother needs to attack people that do not do everything she wants them to.
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It has left me with a strange feeling - one that I feel a foundation of events have been changed. I feel at some level my life or what I thought was - is built on a lie.
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Does it really change anything today? NO. I just really give me a weird uneasy feeling about who I am and why I became the person I did. I have a great partner in life. I have had a great career. My kid is wonderful. So I wish I could figure out why it eats at me.
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I am not blaming this for my trading but this has really messed with my mind.
-
I am a very emotional person. Recent events in my life have thrown a monkey wrench into how I viewed my overall life. I know events that happened or not happened 20 to 50 years ago have little meaning on today but it messes with who I am.
-
I grew up in a super dysfunctional family. My dad has had a very successful career in business but nearly every waking hour I saw him while growing up - he was very drunk. He totaled 3 cars and somehow walked away from them. My mother has always been strange. She functions in society but it is clear she is mentally ill. I always thought she was strange but her illness did not matter until 10 to 15 years ago or so I thought. During the last few years, mainly the last 6 months, a lot of the stories I was told over the years on events that happened did not happened the way I thought. Her illness is much worse and started at a much younger age – even before I was born.
-
Many of the stories where told to protect me in some way - others to put my father down - others to for my mother needs to attack people that do not do everything she wants them to.
-
It has left me with a strange feeling - one that I feel a foundation of events have been changed. I feel at some level my life or what I thought was - is built on a lie.
-
Does it really change anything today? NO. I just really give me a weird uneasy feeling about who I am and why I became the person I did. I have a great partner in life. I have had a great career. My kid is wonderful. So I wish I could figure out why it eats at me.
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I am not blaming this for my trading but this has really messed with my mind.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Back in Town but not Trading 9/1/2009
My daughter got her Trachea fixed and hopefully will be going back home on Friday. It has been a long journey and I hope it is done. I do not know when I will start trading again. I feel my life is a mess right now.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Blog Status
My daughter has had a set back. She and I are in Cincinnati waiting for her to have a corrective procedure to fix her Trachea. It has closed up and she will need a piece of it removed.
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I do not know when I will be updating the blog again. Hopefully with in a week or two.
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I do not know when I will be updating the blog again. Hopefully with in a week or two.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Life Sucks - Period
I am going on vacation for a week. When I come back I do not know if I will continue trading or not. If or when I next trade, I do not know if I will post my results. Maybe I will just post my market thoughts from time to time.
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I did not blow up. In fact I am up a small amount for the year and made 4k last year and 7k the year before. It is the fact I am getting no where while I have been at this full time for nearly a year and it is frustrating the shit out of me where I can no long function. Something has to change before I do something really stupid.
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Good Bye until next time.
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I did not blow up. In fact I am up a small amount for the year and made 4k last year and 7k the year before. It is the fact I am getting no where while I have been at this full time for nearly a year and it is frustrating the shit out of me where I can no long function. Something has to change before I do something really stupid.
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Good Bye until next time.
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