I am not dead yet.

This has been a crazy summer for me with a bunch of vacations and work going nuts at the wrong times. I have not given up and I hope to publish my thoughts more often. I have been tradings a lot of beans recently using the break of the opening range. So far I have not been that successful.

Blog status

I have no idea where i am going with this blog.  The main reason for this blog was to dump my brain out and use it to prevent me from lying to myself.  I am now logging all my trades to a Google Doc to do the same purpose.
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Life has been very frustrating for me. I lost total of my blood pressure around Thanksgiving and just beginning to feel I have it back under control after nearly 4 months.  I had a bad sinus inflection mid-December thru mid-January plus I threw my back out and to add at the end of February had sinus surgery. Add to this my day job has caused a lot chaos. Many times over the last 4 months I should have not been trading but I did it anyway.
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I hope life will become more straight forward and easier. Until late 2011, there has many family issues causing many problems for me. Life is a lot simpler for me even with the recent headaches than it has been it seems forever.I am not blaming life for my trading results just that many times I should have not been even thinking about trading with the stress I was under.
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I need to figure out my trading head.  I have been doing this now for too many years. Basically if you have looked at this blog you have seen that I am a breakeven trader (only keeping my brokers happy) for about 6 years. I believe I know enough to be a winning trader.  I have since enough to be a winning trader. I am no longer hunting for the holy grail or reading every new book on the market. I have a good method.  I believe in my method except when I am trading.  That may sound funny but that is my problem.
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I do not know if I will continue updating this blog or where I will go to get my final fix of my brain.
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I kind of feel like this quote and many of you have asked me the same thing.
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STUPIDITY - quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.

Lady from SF on the Plane

If you want to keep in touch - email me at - prezjeff@yahoo.com.  It was nice to talk to you and your daughter  for 5 hours

This weeks Results 11/21/2011-11/25/2011

Dow Futures: +163.08
Crude Futures: +24.66
Stocks: -6.00
Gold Futures: none
Russell Futures: none
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Net: +181.74
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I continue to make a little here and a little there. I am looking forward to 2012. This year even the last 30 months have been a real pain. Now the my daughter is basically AWOL from my life and my parents are no longer living - many pressures are off my back and out of my pocket. It looked like I was going to have to support my mother with a lot of money. It has turned out not to be that much and I am in the process of closing her accounts. For a long time I had her hanging over my head but that is gone.
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My job is safe right now and my own $ is in good shape. I hope I can finally allow myself to take the correct risks to make good money in the markets. I have done better this last year in my retirement accounts. I hope to do that in my trading accounts. It will be about it.
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I have used the resources at TradeTheMarkets.com a lot more. I am part of Rob Hoffman's trading room. His trading method makes sense to me. I need to work it into my way of looking at the markets.
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I am excited about the futures having a lot of weight off of my shoulders. It may sound cold but my parents were very unhappy people. Both of them had shitty situations that I and no one else could fix. My mother spent a lot of time in fear. They are in better places now and as a son I did did what I could.
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I need to now worry about myself and enjoy the rest of my life.

This weeks results 7/11/2011-7/15/2011

Why don't you quit someone asked me this week. It made me stop and think for a while. I have come close to quitting a couple of times. I took time off at others. I started thinking about my dad. He never knew how to play golf and no one would teach him or I would guess he did not want to ask. He taught myself. He teach myself wrong too. He gripped the club wrong but after years and years of practice he became a fairly decent golfer. He was no pro but won many tournaments against many club pros. I took a long time to get there. I asked him why. He said he never knew when to quit. Win or lose - he just loved doing it.
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Now with my trading over the years it had taken on so many different forms and my goals changed a lot - from trying to get a little extra for a special trip, to college eduction, to retirement. Today and for the last 5 years, my goal has been to be able to make enough money on a regular basis where I do not have to worry about having a job.
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After 5 years, I have little to show for it in my bank account. Instead I lost money last year and not doing much better this year. But under the hood, I know I have learned a lot. I see patterns better. I have trading plans. I know what I am doing. I know about risk. I have methods. I know most books can't teach me anything I really do not already know.
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I know what is keeping me from succeeding is myself - my emotions. Nothing else. I am close to seeing the goal become alive. As I sit here, I also know, I may not ever be successful at this last step or it may take me years. I do know that now that my dad is gone, my mother is taken care of in a home, and my daughter is off on her own - I can really just think about myself with the pressure off. I also hope to fix a few medical issues I have had and can only help me more.
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So I think to myself why the fuck would I ever quit now??? Game on.
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All I have to do is plan the trade and then trade the plan.
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Stock Futures: +201.12
Stocks: +199.31
Crude Futures: -15.34
Gold Futures: zero
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net: +385.09

Maybe I am growing up - LOL

Sunday night and today I traded badly. I lost about 1575. I seldom lose of $400 in a given day. I am not happy about it. $500 of the lose was a trade I should have never took and had no reason other than wanting to make money.
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For some reason, I am not super down - not breaking things - not yelling at my other half for no reason. Since Wednesday afternoon I have dropped about $2500. This years ago would put me in a depression for a couple of weeks. A couple of years ago I would be a prick for a few days. Last year I would be running around with a leave me alone sign. Today I am okay. Again I do not want to lose money. I am not happy I loss money. It would be great if I could have my money back. I also know if I took all my signals and traded correctly - I would have made mpney over the last week.
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But today I am okay. I guess I am finally growing up at my age.

I am not dead yet but I tried to die - 5/14/2011

The last couple of weeks has been crazy. As I stated before I was going on vacation. My other half and I went to Hawaii for 8 days and it was great. Not being use to the heat and humidity was a bit of a problem but I love my time there.
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The only problem is I made a near deadly mistake. I drank water out of a city fountain that the birds used more often than humans. I did this on the last day (thank god) and within days of being home, I could not keep anything in my system.
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Over the course of the next 7 days, I lost 7 pounds, had a fever of 104.5 and was seeing things. At first it confused the doctors because each morning I had no fever but then my fever would peak at dinner. Really strange.
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Anyway the doctors got me on Cipro and now I am better but still weak.
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I did do a little trading over the course of these 3 weeks and as I have done for years - I try always to post my results.
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Results-
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Futures: -127
Stocks day trades: +186
Stocks swing trades: -191
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Total: -132 although I am sitting on a swing trade where I am up about $2000.
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Hopefully I am back to a normal life again.

The Toliet Trade - Oh CRAP plus last week's results

When I pull a bonehead move like this especially on a week where most of my trades sucked, I want to scream. I have had problems with when and how long I can watch the markets. I got an alert from Stewie on a stock that looked really good. I missed the alert by a few seconds but I started buying a little higher. The stock looked like it was going to explode to the upside.
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The stupid part was just before I got the alert - I felt the need to relieve and badly. I bought anyway and wait for a few minutes. I had to go or I would soil by pants. I should have just placed a close stop and go but the last two times I did this I lost out. Onetime badly, because I did not place as stop. Instead this time I cashed out for a very small profit and ran to the bathroom just making it.
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The trade if I had a full size on would have turned a shitty week (lol) into a breakeven week.
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Results:
Dow Futures: - 168
Crude Futures: +69
Euro Spot: -105
Stocks: - 360
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Total -564

First trade of New Year/Blog Status and life

First and only trade of the New Year. Nice setup but as so many times I was too close on my stop. I wanted to buy LVS at HOD or around 49. I placed my first buy at 49.01 - big seller at round number. I got filled and it pulled back. Added to it with HOD at 49.05. After a 30 cent run - I peeled half at 49.25 and debated where to put my stop. I thought below 49 but that would be a loss so I put it at 49.08 and it got hit -damn.
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I do not know what to do going forward with my blog or trading. I maybe one day at a time. A lot of shit has happened in the last two months. 10 days ago my dad died. I am not heart broken about it or sad because his life was falling apart and he really wanted to die. He had enough of life. He died very quickly which was how he wanted to die. I will not go into details but in many ways he was a strange man that for many unknown reasons never got close to me.
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My dads death was kind of a burden off my shoulders in a weird way knowing he was not happy. His death also made some other things easier for my mom. They are divorced and she could use the extra SS benefits. Long story that I need not get into.
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During the last two months, I also had a health scare where I had some inflection that took 4 rounds of drugs and some shots of penicillin to go away. And my daughter had some crazy shit happen too.
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Not a fun couple of months. I tried trading the first part of December but nearly every trade was a loser. I just should have even tried.
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So going forward, I am trying to put my head, heart and body back together. I do not know if I will trade in the process or not and even blog about it.
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Good luck to all in the New Year and I will be back at some point - maybe even Monday - lol.

Happy Christmas to all

I am still alive and trying to sort health and life out. I hope all is well with all that read this.

Blog Status

I have not given up on my blog but life has been crazy. A lot of work, a wonderful vacation with my other half in Charleston SC and a scary skin infection where I thought my nose was going to fall off.
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I do not know when I will post or what I will post.

Wednesday Big Mouth Stocks 9/22/2010

Above are the big mouth stocks for Wednesday. There are none today. This is a forced posting. I need to get back to my old life style. Too many things are fucked up in my head right now so I thought I could start getting back to a normal if I forced myself to start doing things.

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Since the begining of August - I have only made 14 trades and I think 10 were losers.

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I hope this is the start of getting back on the horse again.

Still trying to get back into the swing of things 9/16/2010

I did make two trades this week - both losers. One I stuck with the plan, the other I did not.
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I am still having problems getting back into my routines. My blood pressure for the most part has returned to normal and I feel good but my family is having many issues right now and one of my best friends is dealing with cancer. It is hard to think about the markets.
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I want to pick a date where I go back to my regular blog posting and number crunching but I have yet to set that date. Hopefully soon.

I am not dead yet - 9/4/2010

It seems like my health issue note caused a lot of concern. It is not a life threatening issue at all. My blood pressure has gone crazy on me. Normally I am a happy camper if I get a reading around 118 over 78 but for a period of time my blood pressure dropped to 108 over 65. I felt like I was going to pass out all the time. Then I adjusted my meds and stuff I was taking and my blood pressure shot up to 140 over 88 and I felt like I was going to kill everyone. I adjusted things again and my readings for about 3 weeks were all over the board. It was driving my moods crazy. I could not think straight. I did not sleep well. And my body's reaction to stuff did not make sense.
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For the last couple of days, my readings have been close to normal again. I hope the storm has passed. I am now going on vacation for a week so I hope that will do me some good. I am the type of person that wild swings in my blood pressure just destroys my ability to deal with life.
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You can ask my other half on that - lol. I hope to get back to trading and blogging regularly in a couple of weeks. Thanks everyone for the concerns.

Blog - 8/25/2010

My life has become crazy again. Work is very busy. My personal life is a little crazy and now I have a health issue to deal with. I have nearly stopped trading and the markets are just not fun right now.
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Instead of posting the Big Mouth Stocks and my once in a blue moon trade, I am going to take a break from blogging. I am expect I will be back later in September. To my few regular readers, good luck trading and I will be back.

A bit of Heaven..... 7/24/2005

Saturday night my other half had some of her relatives over for a cook out.
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We had:
Pounds of BBQ shrimp
A pound of Scallops grilled.
A couple of shell steaks.
A couple of Sea Bass steaks.
Grilled veggies.
Corn from a farmer's market.
A couple of deserts for one of NJ best bakeries.
And some cheap red wine.
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Heaven

Monday 7/19/2010

The two Big Mouth stocks of the day - not bad. I did not trade. Seeing I am posting this at 5 am in the morning - this gives you a thought in how my day went.

Friday and a few thoughts - 7/16/2010

Above chart is the Big Mouth Stock for Friday. With the market tanking - ABT tanked. The big mouth stocks for Monday are AKS and PPG.
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I did not trade.
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I have been looking at my recent posts and talking to my other half and find I was really out of sorts for a while. I do not understand. I did not go to a doctor but maybe I should have. My BP has dropped a lot. I had a lot more headaches during the time and I had no patience at all. I felt very stressed out for no good reason and I seemed to need to sleep 12 hours a day.
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Now the headaches for the most part are gone. I am sleeping more normal hours and I can again deal with the idiots life throws at me. Really Weird. I have enough problems with my mind without thinking I am losing the few parts I have.

A year later....

I am sitting crying my eyes out watching the "deadliest Catch " episode where Captin Phil has been in the hospital for about a week. He had a massive stroke. They showed his CT scan. I have seen too many in my life.
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It brought back a ton of memories of the chaos of my daughters injury. The not knowing if she was going to live then the days of wondering what was working and what was not. Then days filled with a daughter I did not know and in fact she did not know. Her world did not make complete sense and trying to deal with a very smart person with a scrambled brain is a trip in itself to deal with.
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A year later she is alive and well. Working full time. If you saw her or talked with her, you would have never believed she had that happened. She still is working the emotions out and the memory is a little flaky but she is alive and well.
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Tomorrow starts another year with my little one alive. Katerina - if you read this - you know how much I love you.

Vegas Baby Vegas - oh crap

The trip I took was to Vegas and the Grand Canyon. Great time, Great Weather (except windy) and great food - even made $300 at Black Jack.

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I think I lost one of my nine lives (down to 4 now) when I went parachuting for the first time and my tandem partner told me after me landed - he had to use the emergency chute - fun. You can get a small look at the first one knotted up. The chutes change color.

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Good to be back on the ground again. Watch the video and at the end got a little carried away and said a bad word - lol.